Let me firstly clear the fact that, I DO respect Wedlock., for how else could we all have sprung up to legally survive in this Wonderful World that we call home!
However that coining of a relationship has had its jolts ever since it came into being.
Submission, sacrifice, sensitivity have all been a negative offing from such a definition.
It seems to be the 'Perfect Ending towards a New Beginning' for all..
As ironical as the above line sounds, how else do u define falling in love with that one person and confirming it thru "The Holy matrimonial"
I personally have had many friends enter Holy union in the recent past and soon seem stressed, pressed for space, whine over the fat money they made which seemed to disappear sooner than the beer they downed over evenings.
Yet, there are a few who are content to the new reason in their life.. and Yet seem stressed!!!
Is it the culture today I wonder that has changed things or has it been this way long before I could start thinking wise…
I’m sure it’s the latter.
Relationships between a couple in Wedlock seemed pretty stable and taken for granted in weddings which occurred 30 years ago....but recently it has sought a more demanding / jeopardizing attention from the persons involved in it.
Could it be changes in Earning power or Changes in lifestyles that earning power brings about?
I believe it is the changes in lifestyles that Earning power bringeth forward in modern times.
Like they say, money is the evil of all sins, or was it me who coined that cliché as I type now,
Well it truly is……..
Let me speak on India for starters
As long ago to how far my memory goes, Marriages had Dowries as a foundation to begin with.,
Isn’t here where the man lost all his respect? Why would he need to be paid to love someone?
The bride and her family took it for granted that they would have to foot a deposit for a long term loan.
See… didn’t I mention that money ruins it all…
With dowry becoming illegal over time, the brides who eventually got married really thought the chap was taking her into his life since he really loved her., seldom would she know that as she continued to work after the union, she’d have to pay half her salary to pay off his lavishness!!
Trust me - I have come across such stories
In today’s age where every young man/woman in the ripe age is ready for the union, they mostly know what they’re getting into but still continue to not be able to handle it well when they are into it.
There are many ways one could argue as to why a relationship doesn’t stay stable.
But lets get back to the subject of this write up really.
Is marriage really a perfect ending to a new beginning.
"Why cant people just love each other, live with each other and walk away when they’re bored"?
Did I just shock you all??
Peep within yourself. I’m sure you have this thought in your deepest darkest desires..
Many of us tend to not respect our deepest wants since it brings forward an intimidation of us beginning to have immoral thoughts and then we slap ourselves on the face and say ‘Hey what was I thinking’
No, don’t mistake me here, I do respect wedlock as I quoted in the very beginning.
But I sometimes find it funny to see my friends groan over it.
Why! Just last week a few otherwise bold men had shaky legs when the clock cooed 11:00 pm and they realized their wives were awaiting their drunken and smoked presence a little too late than promised…. It was the following day I heard stories of how these bold men eventually pleaded guilty to their sins on the crime scene the previous night and had to coax their way out to getting a clean slate again!!
Took a few bars of chocolates and promises of dinners I heard ;)
This I have not seen in relationships, where the couple are defined as a boyfriend and a girlfriend, there is certainly more space in that bond.
There also are many perceptions to marriage in itself . You can read stories of married couples being ok with each other flirting away or worse being involved with someone else. It just seems so casual.
Changes in Lifestyles are a spoiler
Cinema and Television does bend the mind a little., what with all those silly serials on TV showing immoral themes, couples today even have wild parties where they swap each other.
For others it would be taboo.
But again, “we are all individuals and we have our Unique perception on leading life.”
As one of my friends rightly said, Marriage is a union in which, each of the couple need to work on the relationship everyday and be sensitive to other’s feelings…….I believe she’s very true.
Don’t tread on each other’s personal lives would be my advice.
Trust each other, it doesn’t really work otherwise.
Remember – You don’t own the other person!!
Well at the end of it all...I think it was god’s will to just have people pronounce legality in the bond and have legal offspring’s towards a stable little world we call home :-)
So what with all this, how does one really define the Union?
The Argument is never ending.
Arvind Dwarakanath.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Bangalore - Fading Sadly with Time..
As a Loyal Bangalorean, who's grown up his entire life in the city, Im Pretty Chauvinistic about wanting to fend off the ever raising complains on the city!
Give it a break! It's Just like every other city in India!
Traffic they say and muse over is Horrible., its on everybody's lips really.
The Roads are small, potholes everywhere,autos driving recklessly, motorists riding on footpaths meant for pedestrians, call centre cabs driving to kill people, not to mention the Bus almost running over you as u try to cross the streets...
To all those of you who complain. Answer my question - Which other city in India have you found better in all those respects you have complained above so far?
I dont think you have an answer really.
To firstly surmise what this great city has to offer and latter justify how it all went wrong..
Bangalore was considered a Pensioners Paradise.
Ever so green with the 1000's of trees littered all over, my town has an weather to it akin to any Hill Station.
Its ever so pleasant with comfortable weather all round the year, occasional rains, sunny days and cool breezy nights.
Perfect for couples to coochie coo away with a nice glass of wine.
Bangalore has the distinction of being a friendly city with a cosmopolitan populace.
A Large English speaking society since we have a good history of the British Raj having set an important post here., many Anglo Indians set base here too.
Great colleges and Churches have a nice history behind them.
Bangalore has the largest number of watering holes (Pubs and Bars) within One city compared to any other in any corner of the world if my facts have'nt been
manipulated over time.
Was really a quite peaceful town until the late 90's when the S.M.Krishna Government chose to litter the town with 10's of Engineering colleges all over and we had students creeping in from the entire country since they needed to only pay to get a nice seat!!!!......Thus started the trouble.
I personally have nothing against anyone coming in from other parts to settle in the city, If u heard me wrong..But Iam just going about a justification of why the city has changed to what it is being complained about today.
Since bangalore boasts of students who come out with Great skilled Degrees and speak flawlessly wonderful English, the IT outsourcing cast its commencial eyes and thus mushroomed the growth of Call Centres / BPO's and also Highly demanding IT jobs.
People in just about every field of study and work received great oppurtunites in these MNC's
Communications, Coding, Service Desk, Law, Medical Transcription, Insurance........U Name it!! The jobs came down outsourced and everyone almost found oppurtunities which fetched them great amounts of good money!
Bangalore never saw such a metamorphism in the job and salary market.
No One would even mind the odd hours at work which caused them a great deal of health digress.
Evetually this led to the Great Banks coming over with Easy Auto Loans.
Manufacture in the Automobile industry shot up and we had a new model every quarter from every other Car maker., coupled with Easy Loans and a emerging Pre Owned Automobile market, the rest is for anyone to guess.......
Traffic piled up in Hundreds.......
Why really blame another ordinary city in india which in its Infrastructure is Just like any other ordinary city in india.
People blame the government, but tell me One govenrment in any other states which has done anything better!
We just love earning our Fat salaries this city and its companies have to offer, spending a couple of thousands on a pretty girl in those fancy clubs over the weekends and dining out in one of the dime a dozen fancy multi cuisine restaurants popped up all over the city...The point is we love doing just what I mentioned a 100 words
behind, bangalore is unique for its nighlife despite the early closure hours.
Then....Why dont we just accept that fact that., This is just another little town in our country which is smaller in Land area compared to Chennai and Mumbai or Calcutta and Delhi , just that we'r hardpressed for space and we just have toooo many people from all other parts come in to make a nice living...SO Stop Complaining!!
There's nothing me or you or the thousands of tax payers out there could do to change anything about anything we complain on, because .....nothing will change :-)
Let me not leave you dissapointed but suggest something at the end of this all.
Try carpooling and sharing bike rides if you and your collegues live in the same neighbourhood.
I wont suggest public transport since its nothing great to ride in.
Stop honking! I know the clubs shut at 23:00 and your trying to get in early. Its really ok, you can go home and drink for free than pay 300 for a bacardi.
Try and drive on lanes, though there are none., it helps promote some sense of discipline!
And Last but certainly not the least, litter only in the litter bins.
Will you still stop complaining ?
I Certainly hope so :-)
Arvind Dwarakanath.
Give it a break! It's Just like every other city in India!
Traffic they say and muse over is Horrible., its on everybody's lips really.
The Roads are small, potholes everywhere,autos driving recklessly, motorists riding on footpaths meant for pedestrians, call centre cabs driving to kill people, not to mention the Bus almost running over you as u try to cross the streets...
To all those of you who complain. Answer my question - Which other city in India have you found better in all those respects you have complained above so far?
I dont think you have an answer really.
To firstly surmise what this great city has to offer and latter justify how it all went wrong..
Bangalore was considered a Pensioners Paradise.
Ever so green with the 1000's of trees littered all over, my town has an weather to it akin to any Hill Station.
Its ever so pleasant with comfortable weather all round the year, occasional rains, sunny days and cool breezy nights.
Perfect for couples to coochie coo away with a nice glass of wine.
Bangalore has the distinction of being a friendly city with a cosmopolitan populace.
A Large English speaking society since we have a good history of the British Raj having set an important post here., many Anglo Indians set base here too.
Great colleges and Churches have a nice history behind them.
Bangalore has the largest number of watering holes (Pubs and Bars) within One city compared to any other in any corner of the world if my facts have'nt been
manipulated over time.
Was really a quite peaceful town until the late 90's when the S.M.Krishna Government chose to litter the town with 10's of Engineering colleges all over and we had students creeping in from the entire country since they needed to only pay to get a nice seat!!!!......Thus started the trouble.
I personally have nothing against anyone coming in from other parts to settle in the city, If u heard me wrong..But Iam just going about a justification of why the city has changed to what it is being complained about today.
Since bangalore boasts of students who come out with Great skilled Degrees and speak flawlessly wonderful English, the IT outsourcing cast its commencial eyes and thus mushroomed the growth of Call Centres / BPO's and also Highly demanding IT jobs.
People in just about every field of study and work received great oppurtunites in these MNC's
Communications, Coding, Service Desk, Law, Medical Transcription, Insurance........U Name it!! The jobs came down outsourced and everyone almost found oppurtunities which fetched them great amounts of good money!
Bangalore never saw such a metamorphism in the job and salary market.
No One would even mind the odd hours at work which caused them a great deal of health digress.
Evetually this led to the Great Banks coming over with Easy Auto Loans.
Manufacture in the Automobile industry shot up and we had a new model every quarter from every other Car maker., coupled with Easy Loans and a emerging Pre Owned Automobile market, the rest is for anyone to guess.......
Traffic piled up in Hundreds.......
Why really blame another ordinary city in india which in its Infrastructure is Just like any other ordinary city in india.
People blame the government, but tell me One govenrment in any other states which has done anything better!
We just love earning our Fat salaries this city and its companies have to offer, spending a couple of thousands on a pretty girl in those fancy clubs over the weekends and dining out in one of the dime a dozen fancy multi cuisine restaurants popped up all over the city...The point is we love doing just what I mentioned a 100 words
behind, bangalore is unique for its nighlife despite the early closure hours.
Then....Why dont we just accept that fact that., This is just another little town in our country which is smaller in Land area compared to Chennai and Mumbai or Calcutta and Delhi , just that we'r hardpressed for space and we just have toooo many people from all other parts come in to make a nice living...SO Stop Complaining!!
There's nothing me or you or the thousands of tax payers out there could do to change anything about anything we complain on, because .....nothing will change :-)
Let me not leave you dissapointed but suggest something at the end of this all.
Try carpooling and sharing bike rides if you and your collegues live in the same neighbourhood.
I wont suggest public transport since its nothing great to ride in.
Stop honking! I know the clubs shut at 23:00 and your trying to get in early. Its really ok, you can go home and drink for free than pay 300 for a bacardi.
Try and drive on lanes, though there are none., it helps promote some sense of discipline!
And Last but certainly not the least, litter only in the litter bins.
Will you still stop complaining ?
I Certainly hope so :-)
Arvind Dwarakanath.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Reservations - The Easiest Way Out
Gujjars – A Threat to Earn an Intimidation
It seems an easy way out.
Has’nt it been for centuries, the desire to lead an easy life. A life void of hardships and sweat.
Reservation in my opinion is exactly just that.
Get subsidy or get it all free since you are underprivileged!!
I’d regard this, if it honored a handicap.
But a well able man / a woman! A definitive NO!!
I do not earn hard and pay my taxes to feed off someone who could earn to pay taxes too.
Reservation to underprivileged classes came out as a byproduct of a badly structured class based society in the early 1900’s in India., an idea to alleviate the downtrodden.
This was a ticking time bomb and it evolved into today’s age as a means to an easy life.
To draw parallels in the disparity in our country would be jaw dropping.
We boast of rich natural resources, large human power, a well educated English speaking society , the silicon valley of Asia and to beat it all out a Hub for outsourced highly skilled IT jobs.
On the other hand we have a large section of populism who claims to come from an underprivileged class demanding or in better words rhetorically threatening claims for special privileges!
Why?
Yes, one argument would be that the government isn’t doing enough, but it isn’t a reason enough.
There are little jobs one could do with self respect than sit coolly and earn freely claiming underprivileged status.
A solution to this in a governing body as adamant as ours etched with red tape would be hard to fathom.
Yet, it doesn’t justify privileges!
The government heeding eventually to such a request would be further atrocious.
Heeding to such requests would force other communities to come forward for similar confirmations.
Justice on this would be only done if the Constitution in itself could be changed!
To Remove reservations in total and apply it to only those who are physically / mentally challenged.
Do we see that in the offing in
NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.
Arvind D
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Westernisation - A Boon or a Sin?
Changes in Culture as time progressed is a constant.
Change is a constant!
In the context of our country and our youth,Its impact on the indian society could be described as Collateral Damage.
Liberalisation in cinema led to open thought and adaptation of the same into personal lifestyle.
The marlboro man inspired the smokers in many and smoking became a statement of style!
Advertising in
Condom advertising became more vivid from the simple, 'Hey can i have a pack of those way back from Moods' to Pooja Bedi's voyeurism.
Advertising morphed under the mantra that 'Tease a man and you can reel him into watching an ad on any product'
Advertising on common lifestyle products like shirts had themes naughty to them come over.
This has led to evolution in thought and openess in an otherwise thought to be shadowed culture.
The mind opened up to more rebellios desires.
Why could we not do the same? was the question on everyone's lips.
Western cinema was thought to have themes of sin 'Cheating on a partner, voyeurism and uncontrolled language'.
It was Reeled in by the reel to Indian cinema to appease the audience locale and it did work!
What we are facing today is a youth, which is treading on a line so thin.....they are unable to choose which the safe side to fall onto would be.
On one side is culture that we have been raised with, Rich morality, respect to values unknown to the western world.
And on the other a lifestyle with a thought so free, u could be urself and truly free from all values raised.
Being a Roman in
A solution, or suggestion rather would be to have a balance of both worlds.
A person with rich values and liberal thinking.
Too much to ask?? Im sure there are a many out there in the making .
Arvind Dwarakanath.
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